Sixteen

At sixteen,

Everything is supposed to be okay

At sixteen,

The hardest choice you should have to make is what clothes you want to wear,

Or what food you want to eat

At sixteen,

Loving yourself should be your only priority,

Learning to embrace those flaws that everyone once pointed out

At sixteen,

You should be finding joy in the little things

When you will be celebrating your seventeenth birthday,

When you will be visiting the cottage with your family again,

And when you will be getting your first job

At sixteen,

You should be focused on your next goal,

What assignment you will have to complete next,

Where you will go after high school,

And what career choice you will want to pursue

At sixteen,

You should be wondering what it will be like to slow dance with your husband in the kitchen at 2 am to your favorite song,

Or daydreaming about the perfect proposal

At sixteen,

There should be all sorts of possibilities out there waiting for you,

And you should be jumping at everyone of them

But at sixteen,

Everything is all wrong

At sixteen,

You should not be crying over your boyfriend,

Not crying over what he said in the argument ten minutes ago

At sixteen,

You should not be asking “Am I really happy?”

Or “Am I that easy to forget?”

At sixteen,

You should not feel empty without him

At sixteen,

You should not be up at three in the morning wondering what you did wrong,

Or making 11:11 wishes for him to come back

At sixteen,

You should not be sitting at the edge of your bed at four in the morning considering whether or not your existence matters in this world

But at sixteen,

You are crying, unable to study for your last exam

At sixteen,

You have given up on love,

You thought he was the one

At sixteen,

That day still haunts you

The day you were in tears, saying “Please don’t leave me.”

At sixteen,

You were my everything